This is what my husband just said to me.

"I would rather be where ever with you than anywhere without...purgatory, the hood, whatever. 

But I don't think it's dark.

It's hard, yes, but not dark.  

I'm scared sometimes. But mostly I just hurt cause you hurt. 

I don't allow myself to feel as much as I could.


I try to be strong. I'm not though. You are stronger than me. And I admire that about you...and hate it about you sometimes too.  

But I don't hate you... never. You were telling me I did hate you the other night when you were under the influence.  I couldn't listen anymore and had to just tune out the nonsense, so that I didn't tear down the house.

I love you. I want you. And I want you to live.  

Please keep fighting for it...life...us.  

I don't know if it's even fair to ask that of you.  I want more. But I may not ever get it.  

That's not a loss to me, though.  So, it can't be a lose lose. 

Just being with you is a win for me. 

Hell or high water....or hellish high waters, or fiery droughts. Whatever.  

You're my love.  

You're my heart."