41 days into 14.

I've completed the Whole 30 Challenge, made a fool of myself at the Policeman's Ball, and now here I am, recovering from it. The last month, I have abstained from alcohol, sugar, and grain as well as dairy. Three out of the four weeks, I felt extremely depressed. Part of me knows the truth, that I can't not be on an antidepressant, but I want so badly to be able to control it with diet... what if I can't? What if I can? I don't know what to do in these times of downward spiral, of feeling so lonely, dark and disconnected. How do you reach out to someone? What do you say? Of course I have a few friends who say to let them know when or if I need something, but I don't honestly think they'd even know what they'd do or say if I did contact them. So, now what?